20/20: Simpson Deposition Tapes

Timing can be an ironic bitch, can't it?  I can think of a handful of times that things didn't work out for me (sometimes in my favor, sometimes not) because of some very minor timing.  It makes me wonder "what if" and what my path might have been had that timing been different.

I know, you're probably wondering what the hell this has to do with O.J. Simpson and the so-called trial of the century.  I'm getting there but, as always, I like to talk.

It's been twenty years since the verdict was rendered in the criminal trial.  Like 9/11, like Princess Diana's fatal accident and JFK Jr.'s plane going down, I know exactly where I was when the reading of the verdict happened.  Like the infamous white Bronco chase, which I also remember in vivid detail, I recall with exact clarity my feelings at the time and my emotions in general because I was in an unhappy relationship and time has allowed me to equate the Simpson case with that relationship.

Being one of the lucky that deals with Southern California traffic on the daily (and I say that with heavy sarcasm), I listen to audiobooks as a way to cope and not commit a felony.  In a bizarre touch of irony, I downloaded How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder last week.  No idea the twenty year anniversary was rearing its ugly head or that 20/20 was airing previously unseen deposition tapes of Simpson on Friday night.  Nope, just a weird coinky-dink.



Ron Goldman on 6/12/94, the last day of his life

Watching 20/20 brought back a minefield of frustration, anger and disappointment.  Back in June of 1994, I knew of O.J. Simpson but mainly as an actor of sorts.  I knew very little of football then so had no idea of his iconic status in the sports world.  No, I felt no connection to O.J. Simpson or his history; I felt connected to Ron Goldman. 

I had never met Ron, never would, but we were the same age.  In fact, Ron was born twenty-four days before I was.  Hearing of a vibrant young man, the same age I was, being murdered - - a victim of unfortunate chance, guilty only of being in the wrong place at the wrong time - - filled me with a horrible sympathy. 

Throughout the last twenty-one years at various times I have thought of Ron Goldman.  I have had many life events, moments, that he has not had - - happy, sad, traumatic, joyous.  He will never have them.

Watching his killer's nonchalant and dismissive attitude on the deposition tapes aired on 20/20 brought all those feelings back to the surface.  This appeared to be a game to him, nothing more and nothing less. 

While I believed he was guilty of those horrible murders from the beginning, I do wonder if those people who believed in his innocence can still hold on to that after viewing the tapes.  Never mind the physical evidence, which led to no one else but Simpson.  Never mind the evidence of Simpson's abuse.  Never mind Simpson's eventual incarceration in Las Vegas.  If Simpson were truly innocent, wouldn't he have commended Ron Goldman?  This young man attempted to save the mother of Simpson's children.  He should have been a hero in Simpson's eyes and yet he, and his family, are met with nothing but contempt by the killer. 

Ron was a hero, he still is.  He may be the only person who ever stood up to Simpson, stood up for Nicole, and he died for it.   He won't be forgotten; he will be remembered for being an honorable, heroic young man.  I hope at least this small bit of knowledge gives the Goldman family some measure of comfort, knowing Ron has not been forgotten.

What do you think?  Did you watch 20/20?  Are you surprised by the tapes?  Disappointed?  Justified?