Defining Success

I received an email this morning with an article about how to be the happiest you possible (for me, that might be Robert Downey, Jr. in my home) and one of the points was defining success for yourself (see above with RDJ.)

God, I love this man

It got me to thinking about a Jennifer Aniston interview I read portions of last year.  I'm not a fan of hers nor would I say I dislike her; I guess I'm relatively indifferent but I was offended on her behalf over the assumption that she (and others like her) has failed as a woman because she hasn't given birth to any children. 

As a woman who is child-free partly because of choice and partly because of circumstances, I am disgusted and irate that a woman's level of success can still be determined in this day and age by passing another human being through your vagina.

As I am over forty and divorced for the second time, I don't have nearly as many inquiring minds wanting to know why I'm not married and when I'm going to have kids, thank God.  When I was younger and most particularly after my first divorce I did.  I wanted to answer 1) because I married an emotional fuckwit and 2) it's none of your business what my eggs and I are going to do. 

Jennifer  Aniston says women should get respect
for more than their bodies

Why do people feel others' reproductive systems are their business?  We don't ask people when they are going to pay off their debt or buy a house or how much money they brought home with their last paycheck or the last time they had sex because that's considered rude but apparently asking when the egg and sperm are going to meet up to create morning sickness, stretch marks, labor pains and an eventual need for a college fund is perfectly okay.

Can you imagine if someone was to suggest to George Clooney that he was somehow failing as a man because he hasn't fathered any children?  No, you probably can't because it would never happen.  There are still double standards today and it's ridiculous.

Can't a woman - - or anyone - - define their success without children (or marriage) being part of the equation?   Can't we say that we're happy with who we are and where we are (whether that includes children or not) and that equals success? 

I haven't been successful at everything I have endeavored in but they have been learning experiences.  Not all happy, of course, I do have regrets and have wondered if I struck my head prior to making some of my more ill-advised decisions but I have excelled in other areas and with some things I never knew I could.  And I have survived with my relative sanity and sense of humor intact and haven't given up.

That should be considered success.  Or maybe some form of insanity. 

Let me know what you think.  Do you think women are still judged unfairly?  What do you consider success?